Monday, May 31, 2010

State Terrorism, Flotilla Under Attack

What poor, victimized Israel has done today is in the words of Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan "state terrorism." What they have done constitutes terror. They murdered civilians aboard a humanitarian ship. Those filthy criminals, assailants, murderers, barbarians. What they have done in the early hours of today is unfathomable. It is senseless. It is horrific, unnecessary, and brutal. Much like Operation Cast Lead. This time, instead of attacking, killing, and injuring a few thousand lowly Palestinians whose lives aren't worth that much anyway (pure sarcasm for the drain-brained) they've opened fire, wounded, and killed civilians and activists from so many different countries. So far, there are confirmed reports that 19 are killed, ten who are from Turkey. Yeah that's right, the quickest way to self-destruction is to jeopardize already troubled relations with the only country in the region that had an amicable relationship with it. We are beyond disgusted. We are beyond horrified. This, we did not expect. This, with the whole world watching, we did not see coming.

Under cover of the darkness before dawn, Israeli troops descended onto the main ship, Mavi Marmara, carrying 600 passengers in international waters (read it twice, international waters) and began shooting. This military action came with the full approval of Benjamin fucking Netanyahu, after speaking on Monday from Canada to top Israeli diplomats and officials. When we first heard about the news, we went numb. This is not even outlandish anymore, there are no extremities that Israel has not reached with such brazen impunity, allowing aggressive and destructive behavior to rule at the cost of innocent lives. Heard about the Israeli bombing of the USS Liberty ship back in 1967? 34 were killed.

We can't even collect our train of thoughts right now. Let's start with the Israeli version of how things went, if only to provide some harrowing comedic effect.
The Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs played Russian Roulette with itself, packing the single most absurd preposterous bullet. When that bullet was fired, the extremity of the bull shittedness was enough to cause a lot more innocent people to brain hemorrhage. The bullet read as:
During the interception of the ships, the demonstrators on board attacked the IDF navy personnel with live fire and light weaponry including knives and clubs. Additionally one of the weapons used was grabbed from an IDF soldier. The demonstrators had clearly prepared their weapons in advance for this specific purpose.
Ok, so they use the victim card. They've been using it for more than 62 years. It never gets old! But, as Azmi Bshara derisively and correctly assessed, what kind of elite commando unit does Israel have if it allows a civilian to get close to him and intercept his weapon? We shouldn't even be doing this, humoring Israel's claims. No one with half a brain believes this nonsensical blabber above. And anyone with that half a brain is smart enough to know the deep bottomless well of Israel's stupidity. What the hell kind of people were on board this flotilla anyway? Hmm, maybe an underground selective inter-European guerrilla army. Don't be fooled by those women on the ships! They were trained at Qaddafi's special training school for his female bodyguards. And those parliamentarians? They are haters of Israel, not necessarily the crazy "Islamo-fascists" but just obsolete Roman emperors who have taken it upon themselves to single-handedly oversee the demise of Israel. This isn't far-fetched at all! No more than a heavily armed troop being attacked with knives and clubs!
The Free Gaza Movement have stated their own CORRECT* version of events. (*This is unbiased reporting from us.)
Under darkness of night, Israeli commandos dropped from a helicopter onto the Turkish passenger ship, Mavi Marmara, and began to shoot the moment their feet hit the deck. They fired directly into the crowd of civilians asleep. Streaming videos shows Israeli soldiers shooting at civilians. This attack has happened 75 miles off the coast of Israel, in direct violation of international law.
When will Israel's impunity end? When will it be held accountable to its atrocious war crimes? When will its perpetrators and leaders be tried (and hanged...or shot at by a firing squad made up of families that have lived off the injustice and occupation) as war criminals in international hearing courts? Damn you USA for your superpower-ness.

Turkey has 10,000 protesters in the capital, voicing their anger in front of the Israeli embassy, making their way to the city square and demanding justice.
400 people turned out in Belfast, Northern Ireland, where one of the ships carrying construction materials set off from.
In Edinburgh, Scotland, 200 people are starting out the protest.
London's protest has a massive turn-out!


Amman, Jordan has a 1000 people protesting.
Associated Press reports that smaller protests have broken out in Kirachi (Pakistan) and Sarajevo (Bosnia), and Thessaloníki (Greece).
Turkey, Spain, Sweden, Denmark, and Greece have all summoned their Israeli ambassadors for a meeting. France backs growing support for a thorough investigation of Israel's attack.
Citizens from all of these countries mentioned were aboard the flotilla.
Old man Abbas has politely heeded Israel's demand that no protests in Ramallah or the West Bank should be held. He has as compensation for his lack of balls issued a 3 day mourning period.

Sheik Raed Saleh of the Islamic Movement in Al-Quds and 1948 region is between life and death after sustaining an injury/getting shot at by a bullet on his head.

The worst feeling is that of desolate hopelessness, knowing that you can't do anything, while these good souls on the flotilla have suffered death and injury and terrorizing at the hands of mentally challenged state.

UPDATE: New day brings with it new clarifications, Sheik Raed Saleh is unhurt, in one piece, and detained at Be'er Sheva prison. There was a gathering of people around the Manara square in Ramallah but to us, that does not make up a protest. Protests should be of at least 1000 people, with their voices ringing loud and clear. See Cairo, Ankara, and London.


Saturday, May 29, 2010

Israel is Threatened by Flotilla Humanitarian Aid


The world's complicity with the illegal siege on the Gaza Strip that has been imposed by Israel for a few years now is beyond despicable. We're going to use our favorite tactic, called Breaking It Down, to provide background information.
WHY has Israel imposed a siege on the Gaza Strip?
In 2006, the Palestinian people voted democratically to elect Hamas as their government. As a way of punishing the Palestinians for exercising their democratic rights, this led to an immediate boycott of Hamas from international (mostly Western) governments, on the basis that Hamas is a terrorist group who will not rest on their laurels until every single Jew in the occupied territories (the 1948 region is included) is driven out from the land into the sea. These governments refused to deal with such a wack ideology, and condemned Hamas as a dangerous violent faction that threatens potentially progressive peace plans. Is it not, just a teensy weensy ironic, how these same filthy hypocritical governments are dealing with and embracing whole-heartedly the deranged serpentine ideology of Zionism? Zionism is a racist doctrine that is established on the grounds of ethnically cleansing an indigenous population in order to make the land available for settlers. Israel is a colonialist settler state that upholds noble acts of Apartheid and continuously harasses Palestinians on a daily basis under its deplorable occupation. When the Palestinians have the nerve to elect democratically a political faction, a dreadful civil war between rival factions Hamas and Fateh, instigated and backed by the USA government, ensues. Hamas stage a coup, overthrow Fateh from the Gaza Strip, and fuel the justification for a boycott against it even more. Don't listen to the Israeli hasbara machine. Hamas has on more than one occasion offered a peace plan based on the 1967 borders (Jews aren't under threat anymore!) but Israel has rejected it every time. Ceasefires between Hamas and Israel are always broken by...Israel. Israel blocks off all of its border openings, Egypt does the same, and as a result, collective punishment on the 1.5 million population of the Strip is eventuated.
HOW bad is this unlawful siege?
Very bad. Gaza is dependent on Israel and Egypt for electricity, and since we can't ask anything more from generous Egypt, Israel monopolizes electricity. It destroyed the only power plant in Gaza during its last massacre last year, and has not given its permission nor approval to fully rebuild it again. As a result, those on life-support machines or any kind of machine that aids them medically had their conditions even more worsened. Medical supplies and medicine have ran out, culminating in up to 400 deaths. Food was once scarce, everyday items such as pens and papers and coffee and diapers and powdered milk were deemed too much of a threat to Israel's precious security to be allowed entry to Gaza.
WHAT has been done to counter this siege?
The siege has effected into an explosive tunnel industry, where everything is smuggled from Egypt to Gaza. Food, animals, cars, motorcycles, clothes, gas, generators- all have become available. There are deep risks that come with these tunnels, as they are liable to collapse unexpectedly and are subjected to Israel's bombing once in a while. Children have become involved in tunnels as a means for providing for their families, and they use drugs to drive off fatigue and claustrophobia. Also, the tunnel industry will be forced to abort its activities because of Egypt's plans for a border wall that will have steel blocks 30 meters underground. The supplies that come from the tunnels however are double or triple their normal price, and with close to 90 percent of the people living on less than two dollars every day, their availability is useless to those who can not afford them. Yousef Munayyer has published a piece in Ma'an News where he states, "That's all part of the plan. Israel seeks to squeeze the strip to the point of near catastrophe, bad enough to make people suffer, but just short of having to take responsibility for it." Humanitarian aid has arrived in ships and convoys from different countries and a diverse mix of citizens, yet they encounter danger once they either enter Gaza's waters (under threat of Israeli navy ships that harass/barge/block their progress) or provocation and hounding by Egyptian officials, who beat activists and subject them to ungodly exasperation, when they land in Egypt and try to make it through the Rafah border crossing. The only breath of life Gaza's population has are mostly from the tunnels, which will be redundant in the near future, and the humanity of the people who organize and put together these convoys and ships.
WHAT is going on now?
There's a flotilla of three ships, courtesy of the Free Gaza Movement, making their way to Gaza right now, carrying aid, reconstruction supplies, and a few hundred activists on board. Israel has vowed to stop the flotilla and arrest all of the activists. It tries to convey its image as one of a benevolent nature that allows aid to enter into the Strip every now and then, when the reality is that the supplies entering are of minimal amount. A couple of months ago, Israel once again played the altruistic card by allowing clothes and shoes to enter. Their compassionate humanity is just too much for us. By withdrawing from Gaza in 2005, Israel has created the illusion of a free and totally Palestinian territory. How far from the truth is that, when Israel still controls all of the borders and forbid fishermen from fishing more than 12 kilometers from the coast, while at the same time still raids Gaza and shoots at random boats and people from the sea. We won't ever forget what happened to Huda Ghaliya's family.

Break the siege on Gaza, spread the word about Israel's fascist imperialism, and never forget the 1.5 million Palestinians imprisoned on a strip of land 30 miles long, 5 miles wide.

Wavin' Flag

Now with us being huge fans of football and all, we like to keep ourselves updated with the latest news on the 2010 FIFA World Cup. We have the countdown drilled into our heads down to the last nanosecond. Knowing that every world cup has a theme song of its own we wondered what this year's was going to be. Pavarotti's vocals still send shivers down our spines. We still samba to Ricky Martin's The Cup of Life (here we go! ole ole ole! go go go! ole ole ole!). Il Divo and Toni Braxton's song does nothing for us other than making us wistful for some Italian lover abound on a faraway ship. Finally, after those long, brutal months of waiting, the unveiling of the song has finally been made public, and it is... drum roll please..Wavin' Flag by Somalian artist K'naan! Others are arguing that Shakira's song, Waka Waka is the official song, but who cares! Wavin' Flag has some serious groove to it! It makes us jump and twirl and shimmy while simultaneously swaying a lighter back and forth. Perfect song for the perfect game? Or are we just so caught up with World Cup fever? CAN NOT WAIT!!!! Yet, our eyes couldn't avoid viewing a little something called 'Wavin' Flag-k'naan ft. Nancy Ajram.' We rue the moment we gave in to our curiosity. What the freak is that thing?! Having Nancy dance worse then a theatrical monkey just caused laughter, the mean kind, to bubble forth from us! But then we were also painfully hurt by this collaboration. Why take something so pure and good and infest it with...cheap Arabic music? Yes, CHEAP! Because that's what it sounds like! The dancing grates us, the scantily clad dancers enrage us, and the whole time we were thinking: after all those plastic surgeries she STILL ends up looking like that? Ohh haters! Sad to say this pain can never be taken back, unless we keep listening to the original song 25 times over and over again.

The Fake Thing


The Real Thing

The Raping of One of Ramallah's Main Roads

This disgusting eye-sore has been thrusted upon us every day for the last month or so. And it just got worse. A few days after this pic was taken, pavements were first raped and then eradicated by metal machines. Now, one must put up with the invasion of dirt mounds and small pebbles in their shoes, and if you're a woman with no sense wearing open-toed high heels then may the nuppity force of the grey matter be with you. We miss asphalt. We yearn for the days where we could walk in a straight line instead of picking our feet over rocks and little hills and risking a twisted ankle. How long does it take to re-d0 a friggin street? We do have a simple request to make though: BIGGER SIDEWALKS. Saves the hassle of being mowed over by a car, and transforms the mutinous muttering of drivers into ecstatic ululations.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hungarian Horntail/Ginormous 3D Pokemon


It's perfectly normal to walk into campus one day and find this gargantuan...sculpture smack in the middle of somewhere, with no explanations. The hell is that thing? And why is it there? And who put it up? We've come to the conclusion that a flock of ancient Aztec fowls disguised as modern day BZU students erected this...sculpture as a shrine for their deity, but underneath this seemingly simplistic and harmless elucidation is the darker, twisted veracity with the sinister motive of hypnotizing poor unsuspecting students to convert to their religion where they act as the brainwashed and mentally powerless brawny army so desperately needed to fight and overthrow the descendants of Cortez and his looting men, with the help of Harry Potter and his homies.

Things We Learned This Semester

This semester has by far been the most stressful one we've encountered so far. There were whole days when our heads literally wouldn't come out of books, mainly when sleeping face first between pages. Thank god for support groups. We've held on to our human nature despite the multitude of work that had rained down upon us with relentless mercy, and we've managed to come up with a tabulation of our keen observations/bequeathed knowledge:
  • Indian men in very traditional villages cover their faces during sex on their wedding night. We've mentioned this before, yet it still delights us.
  • A certain class had to master these elementary level rules: Raise hand quietly. Wait quietly until you get picked. Speak only after the person before you has finished speaking.
  • A class that is made up solely of girls renders learning anything a lost cause.
  • Our major is the wrong choice if we wanted to pick out a potential husband, therefore having a minor in a different field is an extra plus.
  • There's a mythic pattern in not just every literary work, but in everything to do with words, such as the back of cereal boxes, flyers advertising a new restaurant, etc. Thanks Dr G. D!
  • To expose our nerdy side, taking a quiz after every discussion class does wonders for our brains and exam grades.
  • The study of speech sounds is the best tongue action fetish anyone will ever come across.
  • Listening to our ipods in a boring class only makes the time go doubly slow. Yes we used the word doubly.
  • Having two classes consecutively in the same room weakens are butt muscles and the strength of our eyelids.
  • Having a professor with only four of his five senses is a tribute to his amazing abilities.
  • There's a pseudo Superstar singing competition (American Idol for you Yanks) for those with exceptional vocals, but we have no information about this at all.
  • It takes five months to learn 6 chords on a guitar. Have mercy.
  • Doing community service and not getting the hours for it makes us as mad as a chili-infused raging bull.
  • Holding rallies with nationalistic music blaring out from speakers while people scream empty threats and promises in their mics about the Holy Land does not liberate Falasteen.
  • There are some people who lack the imperative brain cells to fully understand the danger and seriousness of opening a synagogue in the compound of Al-Aqsa mosque.
  • Running a one party 'democratic' student election is the true staple for following in the footsteps of those Arab regimes.
  • The fact that less than half of the student population voted illustrates the incompetence of said elections, and the overwhelming indifference of students to the rival political factions.
  • Finding out about extra-curricular activities two years after their termination indicates the great communication skills of the students in charge.
  • Taking 18 hours with a seminar-like class makes us feel like proper humans as opposed to frantic working animals only at the end of the semester.
  • Having an exceptional teacher who finds time in her extremely busy schedule to organize and implement activities and cultural events has broadened our horizons and kick-started our journey to become people who can play an influential role in the lives of others. Mythical pattern right there!
  • Reading a feminist manuscript in a class made up mostly of females makes us feel empowered, much like sitting in the front seat of the taxi does.
  • Seeing a myriad of male ass cracks does nothing for our poor forever scarred minds, even if they do come in a variety of textures. Ya shabab, lo sama7to, por favor, sil vous plait, PLEASE for the love of ALLAH wear longer shirts or high-rise jeans. Or just wear a dishdasheh!
There's a brief two week respite before we embark on summer classes. Why we insist on hurting ourselves like this is something we do not like to discuss. Masochists are powerful people.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Boycott, Divest, and Sanction I


That's right bitches. We're huge on the whole BDS campaign, and we've stamped our authority where it counts. Mainly friends' houses who now know better than to serve us ANYTHING that comes from a package with the 729 bar code stamped on it. One of us even devoted the entire semester to do a research paper on boycotting Israeli products, and while it was a harrowing, exhausting, and most stressful journey the end result (paper) is pretty awesome. This is the first of a series of posts about the boycott, where later on we'll tackle other topics related to it.
Basically we're more into the consumer Israeli boycott, but that is not to take away from the importance of the academic and cultural boycott, despite what dissenters say. We can only speak for Ramallah, but boy oh boy are the supermarkets here STUFFED to the max with Israeli products. When we ask the Palestinian consumers why they unwittingly buy Israeli products, it's always the same reply: they're of much better quality than local or even Arab products. Keep in mind that tests have been performed on popular Israeli products such as the disgusting flavorless juice Tapuzina and what was discovered what that these products contain cancerous substances. Intajuna is a project that aims to improve the Palestinian consumer's perception and opinion of local products, and to make these products more popular in the market. Now we're pretty sure it's gonna be hard work for lazy fools who lack common sense or a conscience to boycott all Israeli products. We accept that not everything can be boycotted, because of lack of alternatives, but simple things that can be done away with such as chocolates, candy, chips, pasta, frozen food (yuck), etc should not pose a problem at all. This is about boycotting Apartheid people! This is about boycotting the heinous unlawful Apartheid Wall that has cut up farm lands and villages and made inaccessibility to work, school, and land a daily problem in the lives of thousands of Palestinians. This is about boycotting Israel's arbitrary policies under which Palestinians continue to suffer, such as the forced evictions of the Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood in Jerusalem and the wanton demolition of the Silwan village to make an exclusively Jewish park. This is about boycotting the racist 'Jewish only' state whose Palestinian citizens (those who live in the 1948 region) suffer atrocious discrimination and perverse justice purely because of their disagreeable race and religion. This is about boycotting the only 'democracy' in the Middle East. We've all heard the tired and regurgitated Zionist response to the boycott, preferably said in a nasal voice: You might as well do away with your computers, laptops, cell phones, and let your babies and family and friends die because of the top range medicine produced in Israeli labs, blah blah blah. Listen here Zionuts. Boycott is a movement that is meant to bring about more awareness to the continuous Israeli occupation and colonization of Palestine. It is a way to encourage resistance against a racist settler colony that has, 62 years ago forcibly created the refugee problem by expelling almost two thirds of the Palestinian population by something called ethnic cleansing that entailed massacres, and today has rendered more than four million Palestinians as refugees. It is a peaceful way to end the on-going subjugation of Palestinians, whose lives are given no more worth than the mud on the back of the occupier's shoes. It is a way to dispel the crazy, lunatic, and laughable ideologies of settlers who hail from parts of Europe but claim that this land belongs only to them because of some nonsensical liturgic command, and that non-Jewish folk are to be ousted. Boycott is not meant to be taken literally, as in the Israeli economy well suffer a dramatic collapse, rendering millions of workers jobless and upping the suicide rate of tycoons. It is more about educating people, bringing their attention to the deplorable acts of an illegal state that was founded on the crushed skulls of the indigenous population. Boycotting products is a means to bring about this kind of open dialogue and awareness and solidarity. And it sure is working. The Israeli ministers are clawing their faces over the despicable boycotting of their products. Big ups to those who do implement the boycott and call upon others to do so. Greater ups to those who actually act and form committees and groups to boycott. It's a long way coming, yet the tides are definitely changing.
From the peerless and one of a kind, Invincible:

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Links and News

We've each got one more day of exams (Saturday and Sunday) and then we can kick back, shake up some pina coladas, and snooze under the ozone depleted sky.

End of Semester Wongs.
Wong: adjective, the definition of nothing. Vacuous. Pertaining to actions one would not usually commit.
Examples:> speaking in 3 different accents in one class. Old fashioned London accent (suppose old chap, we are having a vastly entertaining time!). Irish accent (Tis a grand ting to be sure). The third was a mixture of Mexican and Arab.
> Forming Conga lines down the stairs.
> When vending machines commiserate with us by refusing to let go of their babies:
It just wouldn't come down.

World Nursing Day came to BZU on Wednesday in the delightful new Nursing building. Avatars were running amok eagerly offering their services: testing eyesight, color-blindness, diabetes, blood pressure. Wanna know your height and weight? Also part of their services. Plus there was a grand tour of the labs in the building.
In the week building up to the 62nd Nakba Day, campus was filled with little makeshift tents with posters displaying brave words asserting our RIGHT that we WILL ONE day return to our homes! There were banners across the chain-link fence above the track field that listed each city and the villages that were eradicated/fully occupied by God's chosen children. For some reason, Gaza was missing. Which really dampened our mood. Come on, Haifa, Yafa, Akka, and other cities in the West Bank were included, where the hell is Gaza's banner? Oh wait, is it not included in Salam Fayyad's 2011 Palestinian state? Douches. Ramallah had a lot of banners and posters, some declaring when the protest will take place and where, others using language to make sure no one forgets what May 15 means to Palestinians. What we can't for the life of us get is why the protest was scheduled for Monday the 17th, two days after the Nakba Day? There are some things that don't make sense but then can be explained, and then there are other things that don't make sense and seem happy to stay like that.There was one that said: The Right of Return is a Political Red Line That Should Not be Crossed. You hear that, Abbas? Proximity talks schmoximity blabber.

On Monday 17 Noam Chomsky was supposed to be at Birzeit Uni, in the Kamel al-Nasser Building at 12, giving a lecture about "America and the World" and "America at Home", the former about US foreign policies, the latter a discussion about developments in the US. After five hours of waiting and interrogation at the Allenby Bridge border crossing from Jordan, Chomsky and his daughter's passports were stamped with ENTRY DENIED. Democracy Now! has an interview about what happened. Chomsky says that the reason why he was refused to enter the West Bank was purely because he was going to Birzeit Uni, and not other Israeli universities. Seriously, this inferiority complex is grating! In Chomsky's own words:
"They don't like the idea that a Palestinian university can be independent and pursue its own policies the same way any other university in the world does."
He was able to give his lecture from Amman to the university (Room 101, Women's Building) via video conference. Can you believe he is 82 years old! Looking good too...but you didn't hear that from us.

Now we come to more general news. As many of you are aware, the first Arab American Muslim Miss USA 2010 is Lebanese hot stuff Rima Fakih. We don't know why Arab-Americans are thrilled at this piece of news, like so what? Congratulations, Arab MUSLIM women have been accepted at the American face value of misogynistic objectifying! No, we're not going to start a tirade about the abominable sexist beauty pageants etc etc etc, but rather the fact that Rima is the first agent for Hizbollah in the US! You can't make up shit like this. Neocon/Moron commentator Debbie Schlussel has sounded the warning siren:
"Rima Fakih, Miss Michigan USA, who will compete in Sunday Night’s pageant broadcast on NBC, is a Dearbornistan Shi’ite Muslim who is a supporter of Hezbollah and used the pageant name at a forum promoting Islamic subjugation of women."
You really. Cannot. Make. Up. This. Kind. Of. Shit. Moronic Hater went on to say that Rima's 'devout' Muslim family (we doubt that they're practicing Muslims, bikinis are favored over burkas in their case) have, according to 'intelligence sources' at least 3 relatives who are currently top officials in Hizbollah and that 8 of her relatives were terrorists killed by Israel in past Israeli interventions into Lebanon. Our brain cells just terminated themselves. Now we have festering right wingnuts' incredibly racist juices sloshing from our eyes. Quick, a way to counter that!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...MUCH better...extra large pictures of beautiful people automatically regenerate our brain cells again.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Conspiracy Theories Regarding Our Pet




















It's been more than a week since our last post. There's a reason for that. No, not exams, but that this blog was temporarily disabled by Google. We were what they called, a positive negative. Basically, there's a lot of spamming and porno blogs (called splogs) and when they get deleted, innocent blogs like ours unfortunately get caught up in the whole deletion process. At first, we thought that since we also couldn't access our gmail account, something more than fishy was going on. Yep, we thought the intelligence agencies were behind our asses! Oh, we're kinda paranoid. Then we came to the conclusion that it must have been Mossad who chose to victimize us, since they have a penchant for royally effing things up. We were on some kind of paranoia roll for a few days, always looking behind our shoulders, never making eye contact with anyone, learning a few Krav Maga chop suey moves. Eventually we took the daring step to figure out how we can retain this pet of ours, and things were looking extremely down after the first couple of account recovery forms were submitted. This is all a ploy to get bloggers to read and understand the Terms of Service for both Google and Blogger, as if we weren't sick of research. Our phases can by summarized as follows:
Paranoia. Heart in mouth.
Confusion. Ray of hope. Despair.
Beyond despair. Comatose. Unresponsive even to Johnny Depp pictures.
Anger. Rage. Shredding of vocal cords.
Eerie calm. Beginning of acceptance.
Disregard for everything living.
Acceptance grows. Formulation of new plans.
An early email. Shrieking joy.
Happiness. Content. Abundance of love.

The information we submitted to recover this blog was rendered insufficient and therefore we were advised to create a new blog. This is when the hard acceptance began to sink in. Then one day we received the mother of all emails, and we began doing the happy dance. Aaah it's good to be back. But we're in the midst of exams so we'll holler at yall sooooooon!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Da Finksturrr

God, he's almost as bad as us when we attempt to rap...now there's a horror movie you never want to see. Knaaaamean?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Our New Best Friend

Ha we could only wish. Still, we'll keep sending telepathic messages and learn how whales transmit their songs to communicate. Or we could make use of this new-fangled thing called technology. Without further ado, we give you...Jody McIntyre. We'll try hard not to lather him in a sycophantic whipped up eulogy, but there is honestly no kind of ass-kissing from our part. Here is a true revolutionary young UK native who, after "18 years of wasted education" (we hear you brother!) set off to travel the world. During his 3 month stay in South America, the brutal war on Gaza last year set off the "seeds of revolution" in Jody, and he set off for Palestine. He has lived in the East Jerusalem neighborhood of Sheikh Jarra7, where ruthless evictions of Palestinian families are still taking place to make way for the 'rightful' owners who are of course, the European Jewish settlers. Jody has also lived with his adopted Palestinian family in the West Bank village of Bil'in. Every Friday, the local residents and activists routinely protest the building of the Apartheid Wall on its land. The honorable IDF has upped their 'defense', using more and more tear gas canisters fired at high velocity and spraying chemically enhanced sewage water. This didn't deter Jody and his wheelchair from still being on the front line though! He has a movie called Life on Wheels coming out, directed by Haitham Katib, which follows his activism and experiences through resisting the occupation and being subjected to late night raids in the West Bank. True solidarity with the Palestinians! His blog is most definitely worth a read, as his writing is beyond amazing. Get him a book deal someone! Jody is currently on a speaking tour about Palestine around the US with the UK rapper Lowkey (he's a favorite of ours, remember?) and Dr Norman Finkelstein.
Jody, the word 'inspirational' doesn't even come close to describing you. Enlightening, awe-inspiring, dynamic...thank you for your humanity, your bravery, and your outstanding ability.
Hurry back to Ramallah where we can maybe (pleeeease) grab some ice cream before resuming the dismantling of the Zionist regime, one racist motherheifer at a time.
Check out his blog!
Here's a 5 minute preview of Life on Wheels:

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Palfest Comes to Birzeit

This is a couple of days old, and we apologize most strenuously for that. At around 11 AM the big air-conditioned tourist bus pulled up next to the Kamal Nasser Building, and the authors, poets, and writers spilled out, some chatting confidently with each other, others with uncertainty clear on their faces. This was where we and other volunteers stepped up and introduced ourselves with leering grins as their escorts for the duration of their time on campus. Shackled to us, we then proceeded to take them in the building for the hour long plenary, with the panel board consisting of five stand-out individuals: Adam Foulds, Rachael Holmes, Susan Abulhawa, Suheir Hammad, and Jillian Edelstein. The other equally distinguished in their own way participants can be found on the Palfest website.
This post is unique in that you will be subjected to our individual minds for the first time, as we had different experiences with different poets/writers.

First impressions should be outlawed. They should be beaten down with
a mace and then be buried under the horrific songs of Justin Beiber. I was to escort Remi Kanazi, a Palestinian-American spoken word artist living in New York. I was already 'familiar' with Remi, as I had seen his electrifying performance at the first POP night back in February, and everyone (the students who took part in his workshop) assured me he was a funny guy who enjoys poking fun at himself, so I thought I was lucky to have him. In the space of 120 seconds however, a few words from him (not directed at me) and the workings of the damn mutinous imagination of mine, I had already convinced myself he was a cocky jerk who forced me to become someone who was uptight and straight-laced, someone with a pinched face (rhyme definitely not intended). During the plenary, I repeatedly kicked myself mentally for not latching myself onto some confused old British guy. Thankfully, things got going after the refreshments and dozens of pictures with fans. As we walked to the hour and 15 minute workshop, we had a beautiful in depth heart to heart talk about all things pretty, such as ponies and rainbows and sleeping babies. Actually it was more about a little history of ourselves, the university, and an amazingly cool person we mutually know. One on one conversations, no matter how brief they are, really do wonders. As we got to the designated room, I was ready to adopt him and feed him Lucky Charms three times a day. Suheir Hammad was sharing this particular workshop--Spoken Word Poetry--and she was something else. Smoking hot, with a commanding presence, her Brooklyn accent (infused with a few Arabic words) strong, there isn't one word to describe her but Spunk. She's so spunky! And kinda scary. I got told off because I was doing my journalistic duties for this blog and videoing her as she performed one of her poems. Reprimanded by the legendary Suheir Hammad, the things I do for you all! Apparently, she hates being on stage, hates anyone videoing her, and hates photographs. I didn't expect that at all. She voiced my thoughts exactly about the semantic nature of 'Spoken Word Poetry'. Why is the 'Word' interjected like that? What else would Spoken Poetry be if without words. Anyhoo, the workshop was ah.. fine (poetry isn't really my thing, becomes even less so when the discussion went all deep and insightful, so don't ask what I was doing in the workshop in the first place, mashi) but I wish it was more interactive (stupid students, you're facing two amazing poets, SPEAK dammit!) and more close-knit. The 15 extra kids who weren't even signed up for this and invited themselves over didn't ruin this experience at all. Ok, they didn't exactly ruin it...but something along those lines. Time was up, and I had to escort Remi once again back to the bus. Cue more one on one conversations, this time about political nature. I had to resort to begging a group of guys for a lighter. I told Remi smoking is a filthy habit, and laughed when before he asked why no one smoked on campus. Miskeen, he doesn't know this campus at all. Hey, I know Remi is awesome and cool and whatnot, but having some fan girl who appeared out of nowhere cutting him off by expressing her delight at seeing him is a staple for a bitch slap, no? Lucky for her, I had breakfast that day. Dialogue between us resumed, and as he reluctantly boarded the bus again (he had a lot to say) I came away this time with the correct impression that he is a genuinely nice, self-deprecating humorous, down to earth all round amazing guy with a huge amount of passion for Falasteen. Check him out at PoeticInjustice.net, of which he's a co-founder.


'AMAZING' was the only word I could use to describe the Creative Writing Poetry workshop (yes I said Poetry) with Adam Foulds and Nathalie Handal. Their sweet, passionate, talented personalities shined through them in the hour we sat together getting to know each other.
By getting inspiration from a teacher, Foulds had a change of mind and heart, and so he decided to become a writer instead of your usual scientist. Admitting he worked manual jobs to support his writings, Foulds exhibited his hard work and efforts to achieve his dream. He expressed how he found a kind of expression through poetry, a discovery of who he was, and how poetry can reflect feelings and emotions at any certain point in time. My reflections on this writer…well I have to say that he is one of the most NICEST, SWEETEST, and TALENTED writers in this world, and I was extremely honored at having the pleasure of meeting him…and being his student escort!
What can I say about Nathalie? Of Palestinian origin, Nathalie used to hear her family speaking stories of Palestine and decided she wanted to share them. After persuading her father to let her study English, she was sent to an all womens college and now she is an award winning poet. Having lived abroad all her life, she found a connection with her home (Bethlehem) through poetry. Identifying how poetry has no language, she asserts how a writer can create their own language, but of course they must know the rules of writing. All in all, this woman had absolute kindness glowing from her. She was even late to the bus because she stayed to take pictures, and switch contact information with us!…Can you say unforgettable people!

Friday, May 7, 2010

POP III

The third Poetry of Palestine night was a success. Held on the rooftop of al-Masa building in Ramallah, it was one special way to wrap up Palfest. Tonight was unique in that the performers were our peers and classmates. 14 students who took part in the Spoken Word Poetry workshop with Remi Kanazi took to the stage and astounded us with their words, their courage, and bravery. Seriously! Remi opened with a poem of his own, and then introduced the "Rising Fourteen" (as we dubbed them) in pairs, after waxing lyrical about them. The poems were amazing, conveyed with such sincere and honest emotion. Each performer surpassed our expectations, and we had to take our hats off to them for finding it in themselves to open up in front of a 100+ audience. The themes of the poems were largely P&P--Palestine and Political, but there were some really lovely, cute, and funny pieces about Smoking, Hijab (loooved everything about that performance!), and Stop Looking at Me Like I'm a Kid. A video message by the one and only Philip Pullman (author of His Dark Materials trilogy) was unfortunately lacking the auditory technologicalfunkthing for us to hear, so Remi filled in cracking jokes during the unsuccessful technical fixing. Tashweesh once again provided interludes, and they improve every time. We are so proud of our classmates, this generation is rising up and making their voices heard!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The 6th Student Debate



We love fronting. Talking, yapping, bitchin, eye-ballin, yelling, commenting, educating inferiors, arguing. We can pick a fight with ourselves and still win. That's some real talent right there. So we want a debate team. Preferably in English since we're English fobs. But to find out that there does in fact exist a student debate team in the university was jaw-dropping. Man, how come we never HEAR about any of the shit going on? Perhaps the reason for the low amount of extra-curricular activities stems from the fact that only about 7 percent of the student population are aware of them. Anyhoo, the 6th student debate was today, and the topic was mildly interesting. Who are we kidding the whole campus turned up to watch in the small auditorium that fits only 200 students. We were squished at the very back of one side door, staring at the backs and ears of the thousand guys in front of us who obviously don't know what the hell chivalry is, otherwise they would have let us pass to stand in front of them instead of leaving us to stand on our bunions and craning our necks in vain to catch a glimpse of the stage. No comment on the surrounding body odors either. Please. Halfway through the hour we managed to squeeze ourselves in a more respectable position actually inside the auditorium. We probably decapitated a few heads with our trusty huge bags, but thats the price they gotta pay for their chauvinist behavior. Ah yes, the topic. Drum roll please...
Modest Covering of a Woman's Body Prevents Sexual Harassment
(I7tisham ilmar2a yamna3 ata7arush biha)
An excellent subject. We voted for the opposition team because from past and on-going personal experiences we've been harassed over and over again while wearing the baggiest hoodie in the neighborhood and generally looking like a flannel towel. An interesting statistic was that 48 percent of female minors get harassed. This brought us back to the unhappy mornings when we had to walk to school and be subjected to the nasty comments of the lowlifes in uniform, so we're not surprised. Also, the psychotic society in Saudi Arabia invalidates the point made by the other team. Women over there are dressed from head to toe in black loose abayas and most have their faces covered yet they still have men panting over them and undressing them with their eyes. It's pretty sick. The opposition argued that 'i7tisham' or 'covering modestly' is not just about clothes and garments. It's also about manners, behavior, etc. Now in no way do we condone sexual harassment (in fact we wish that there was a 20 lash penalty for it) but to our observation, there are some girls who...dare we say it..'deserve' to be harassed. Good Lord, the feminist backlash is raining on us as we speak. Strictly speaking about our society, tube tops and shorts and mini skirts are not accepted in public. Yeah, say whatever you like, we're a backward Neanderthal society blah blah blah but that will just demonstrate the capacity of how open your mind is. Women have every right to wear whatever they want, and they have every right not to hear comments or crap because of their attire, but this comes with its limits. Ramallah is considered as one of the most tolerant cities in the West Bank, and that comes with its shift as the center of cultural and economic activity. So skinny jeans are accepted, leggings are accepted, above the knee skirts are accepted. Bir Zeit University is infested with the most hideous 'fashion' wear EVER, and these will be discussed more in our Fashion Fugs feature, but having male friends who won't waste their breath in telling us what they think of this or that girl's clothes just made us see how deluded the girls are. And the fact that the male students are proudly and overtly metro-sexual, almost to an extreme. It's actually well-known that guys talk more about the outfits of girls than girls themselves...it's a sad truth, but there we are. Leggings are NOT to be worn as trousers. They are meant to be worn with a shirt or skirt that hit the leg mid-thigh or longer. We do not want to have our eyes burned out by the sight and design of the victim's wedgie/underwear. Low shirts are a no-no too, because cleavage isn't just on display, but the boobs themselves. And when paired with heels, those boobs do not sit rigidly, but indulge themselves in bouncing about. Tell us, are these type of girls NOT asking to be harassed? Even though we voted for the team advocating that 'covering' still leads to harassment, we're really somewhere in the middle. Some girls (hijabis included) ask for it by wearing skanky (or """stylish""") clothes, yet others who are dressed modestly (non-hijabis included) still get some stick. We liked the Freudian explanation that the reason why men sexually harass women is because they have something lacking deep within their unconsciousness. Poor mama didn't give him enough attention when he was younger?

Regarding Hijabis
Once in Ramallah, a young woman covered from head to toe in black, wearing a black niqab, walked past us. A guy whistled and said: yis3idli 3al 3enein. Translation: I am a horny bastard.
vs
On campus, a hijabi wearing a long flowing shirt and leggings and heels was walking back and forth, so everyone could notice her. One leg of the legging was bedazzled with gigantic silver lettering that read "SEXY". Needless to say, hundreds of necks were possibly broken by the degree of craning.

Regarding non-Hijabis
Once on campus, a girl was walking very, very slowly with half of her considerably-sized tits out. This was witnessed by our own tormented eyes. The group of guys next to us abruptly stopped talking/smoking and some just stared, open-mouthed, while others started sniggering and began to follow the girl while calling out to her in crude language. The girl, obviously pleased with the attention, added an extra wiggle to her hips.
vs
In Ramallah, a well-mannered and modest cousin, dressed in long-sleeves and normal jeans, had about 43 guys making crude remarks to her. Usually when this happens to one of us, we'd curse them out in English and Spanish under our breath, or hit them with our purses.

Palestinian society is a double-standard one. Guys who go out with girls or harass them would cut off the head of a guy ding the same thing to their sisters. Therefore, we believe that this all boils down to one word..TIRBAYA! ya3ni UPBRINGING. Sons and daughters should be treated equally and not be suffocated tightly by dull-witted parents who contribute to the future negative roles of their children in society by saying that everything is immoral and forbidden and 3eib. Globalization has brought the wacked out Lady Gaga to their television screens, but wait why even blame the west when Lebanon, Egypt, and other Arab countries have their own fair amount of bimbos and sluts who are just earning their trade by making ART i.e. making suggestive and sexually provocative music videos while wearing half ripped negligees. Of course, this goes back to the Arab music industry owned by some Saudi zillionaire who controls which singer is to be 'famous' and dictates the terms and condition for the singer to become acknowledged, as compensation for the small penis he has. Parents should advise their children that these women are not 'liberated' despite the claims made in their autobiographies and are in no way respected. After all, what else can they do? They can't beat the imaginations out of their kids...well some can but we're talking generally here. This isn't a digression, but our brains are fried at the moment (end of semester wongs) and we trust our readers to see the connection. It's all about influence people! Hannah Montana dresses like the Amish=little girls dressing in scratchy wool dresses! Hayfa Wahbi getting her breasts done=tons of silicone cups inserted in Arab women!

Here's a couple of clips from both sides.
video video

Almost 500 students voted and the results were 37% for those against and 63% for those supporting the motion. However the members of the board awarded 26.5 points to the opposition team and 23.5% to the other team.

Gaza World Cup!

We're far superior than yall who are counting down the days until the World Cup in South Africa (38 days!!) commences because a more important and more high-profile world cup is happening right now! Tis called...the Gaza World Cup. Unfortunately for us, we can't be there in person to witness history, what with all the occupation borders limitations permits and the rest of that jazz, but we have little things like Internet and Television Sets to observe the games keenly.

the WHAT!
Gaza World Cup! Have we said that already?

the WHO!
16 national teams: Palestine, England, Turkey, South Africa, Italy, USA, Russia, Ireland, Egypt, Algeria, Spain, Serbia, Germany, the Netherlands, France, and Jordan.

the WHY!
Palestinians love football. Yes douches, it is football. We don't even know what soccer means. Na3m?

the WHO IN-DEPTH!
We arrive at the cutesy part...these 'professional' players are foreign workers in Gaza representing their respective countries.

the UNEXPECTED!
The raising of the USA flag in Gaza. Intact, and not burning.
the WHERE!
A 5000-seater stadium.

the GOOD SAMARITANS!
The United Nations Development Program.

the SOURCE OF LAUGHTER!
The over-excited Bedouin commentator.

the OPENING GAME!
Palestine vs Italy. Italy won 1-0 credit to a penalty.


This is really amazing. We're avid fans of football, and even though we might occasionally kill each other over a game (Egypt vs Algeria..we have our differences right there) we still take up any opportunity that involves football. We're picturing normal people with normal bodies and normal (or less than) fitness levels, as opposed to the Adonis yummy six pack professional athletes, playing a good game of football. It's so cute! And really great...Palestine for the World Cup!