Saturday, June 12, 2010

This Past Week

Monday: Our last day of freedom, of laziness, of unprecedented lie-ins. 17 hours is our record. We spent that day trying hard not to mope about the dawning summer classes, heart to heart talks up on the rooftop, stuffing our faces, and clinging sloth-like to whatever comfortable furniture in our way.
News that Iran is to send humanitarian aid ships with the Iranian Revolutionary Guard escorting them makes our hearts flutter a bit. Could this be if it were indeed carried out the catalyst for World War III? Neocons and Zionuts certainly need no rational reason to wage war. If the Mavi Marmara flotilla carried terrorists affiliated with Hezbollah and Al-Qaeda who were armed with butter knives then God knows what these Iranian aid ships might have on board...Hitler's spawn and nails yanked out of planks. Now naturally, we believe that any country has the right to send whatever kind of humanitarian aid it can supply to break an immoral and illegal siege that has devastated the lives of 1.5 million civilians trapped on a tiny strip of land. If the U.S and Israel want to seize this act as a pretext to decimate Iran because of the threat it imposes with its nuclear power (completely glossing over the fact that Israel has nuclear power as well) then this calls for a specialized team of Bristows and Vaugns to perform a top notch secret operation that involves tightening the screws and possibly using injections of brain intelligence delivered to the white folks that run this earth. We did not sound like conspiracy theorists there at all. So far, numerous countries have announced that they are putting together another flotilla, bigger and better than before, with 50 ships and more than 4 thousand volunteers signed up so far. Haitham Sabbah, editor of Palestine Think Tank published this somewhat controversial piece stating his firm opinion that Iran is only using this situation where international outcry at Israel's terrorist actions on the flotilla is loud and ringing for its own propagandist reasons, and that these reasons might come at the expense of the Gazan civilians. Make what you want of that.

Tuesday: 1st day of summer classes. Naturally we didn't go, preferring sleep and our mental health.

Wednesday: Enough faffing about, we rose like Shaun of the Dead and made our way back to the university, only to sit around doing nothing as 1 in 3 teachers showed up. Helen Thomas, the longest serving White House correspondent, stated that Israelis should "get the hell out of Palestine...They should go home. To Germany, Poland, America and everywhere else." Naturally, the 89 year old has been slaughtered with vitriolic self-righteous Zionist words, being called everything from an anti-Semite (big surprise) to a blundering old fool (unfair) to a xenophobic (never side with the brown people) to an infiltrator terrorist (we bet) to a sandnigger sympathizer (we know) to a Mujahida (we did not see that one). Never mind we made up the last three accusations, they have been made and we don't need credible sources to cite from. She was pressured to resign, after 50 years on the job. Freedom of speech once again, prepare to get slandered!

Thursday: Back in it again, this time some improvement seeing as 2 out of 3 teachers showed up. We got invited to the Youth Boycott Movement in the beautiful village of Jifna, but after reading more about it and discovering that the boycott movement is for the settlement products only, we tossed our heads and gave a derisive snort. When will they ever learn...there is no difference between Israeli settlement products and Israeli products..key word ISRAELI. The Karama (Dignity) Pledge is an insult, but then again it was devised by the Palestinian Authority so that explains it. See the farcical connection here or do we have to elaborate more..well why not. The rotten PA has taken it upon themselves to expel any settlement products from the areas it controls and to fine/imprison anybody selling them. It's a LAW now, something to make them feel a tad more pretentious. They devised this great big thing called the Karama Pledge which people sign their names onto a piece of paper, affirming that from now on they won't buy said sordid products. A campaign ripped off of Intajuna called Min Beit la Beit (From House to House) has 3000 volunteers going around houses and educating the inhabitants on the detrimental results of buying settlement goods. They also distribute a list of settlement products/companies and the alternatives that can be bought instead. Don't get us wrong, we're glad that some form of political group has finally undertaken the initiative of boycotting, but limiting this boycott to settlements only is so wrong. The impression people get is that boycotting settlement products is now a must but Israeli products can still be bought and consumed. Hypocrisy at its slinkiest best, and if we see one more Goddamn yellow sticker declaring YOU AND YOUR CONSCIENCE we'll do more than scream like raving lunatics in the middle of the street. We might resort to running around naked. We might.

Friday: The 11th of June!!!!!!!!!!!!!Can only mean one thing!!!!!!!!!! WORLD CUP 2010!!!!!!!!!! We've been waiting YEARS for this (specifically, 4) and we gobbled up every moment of the opening ceremony. Favorite part hands down? Archbishop Desmond Tutu getting his groove on complete with scarf and hat. We would like to pinch his cheeks for this, how adorable was that? We figured that a snapshot of this would go viral, yet our search engines have come up with nothing. We'll keeping searching, someone must have it...Our teams of choice? Argentina and Spain. It would be hilarious of Argentina won, imagine Maradona's inflatable ego soaring past the seven heavens all the while giving the finger to everyone who mocked and denounced his skills as a manager and a recovering crack addict. But we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves with such fantasies. To be honest with ourselves though...we expected a whole lot more from the opening ceremony. There were parts we didn't get (what's up with that giant beetle?) and we needed more joyous singing and dancing. And we couldn't believe that there were hundreds of empty seats in the stadium! Possibly reserved for us and our extended families.

One last thing, just to bring people's attention to this. Translated video of what went down in the Knesset when MK Hanin Zoabi tried to speak. The only democracy in the middle east harasses and name calls and accuses and slanders a fellow MK for trying to speak the truth, that Israel is a terrorist bigoted arrogant militaristic state.

Ms Zoabi, we have immense respect for you. Plus you're hot, with those good old Palestinian looks. Love.

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