Hamas and Fateh: A Tale of Two Expletives

Try them out. It's rewarding in a childish way.
"Fateh off Netanyahu!"
"I will kick the living Hamas out of you."
"You stupid motherFateh, get off the road!"
"What a Hamasface."
"Your mother is a dirty Fatehsucking bish."
 "I don't give a flying Hamas."

Once upon a time, Palestine held its first transparent democratic election. Some Palestinians were prevented from voting as Israel sprung up flying checkpoints here and there, thus stalling them until it was too late. Nevertheless, the average turnout was around 74%. The parties running for elections numbered six, but it was essentially a two horse race between Fateh and Hamas. Long story short, Hamas won the majority of the seats in the Palestinian Legislative Council (74 to Fateh's 45). Sugar Daddy Bush Jr did not like the outcome at all. Many were thrown by surprise at the result. And thus, the USA nodded its head sagaciously as it completely undermined the whole election on the basis that Arabs still don't know how democracy works, and implemented that theory by causing internal strife/civil war/political separation of two territories after an attempted US backed coup backfired/installing American trained and supplied security forces whose job is to crush dissent in the West Bank/ and finally, giving its blessing to an imposed siege on the Gaza strip. Don't forget the three billion dollars annual military aid that enforces Israel's security, i.e. occupation!

White America, do you see why we blame you for our misery?

The Fateh led PA's sole concern was to continue funneling in those millions of dollars in foreign aid, promoting an illusion of a feasible state complete with a booming industry, while arresting anyone who had wet dreams/nightmares about Hamas.

Hamas' sole concern was to revel in its new "emirate", painting Gaza green in the midst of international ostracism while it continued to promote the facade of resistance by firing shoddy tinpots at nearby settlements, which culminated in an internationally complicit massacre in December 08/January 09.

Fateh disallowed demonstrations that has anything to do with Hamas, securing its grip on a newly formed police state. All traces of green flags disappeared, replaced by the desperate gaudiness of the yellow Fateh flags.

In Gaza, Hamas flaunted its corrupted demeanor and autocratic nature as it too suppressed any dissenting voices. We are not aware of the atmosphere in the universities there but it requires little imagination.

At Birzeit University, students affiliated with Hamas were promptly arrested and in some cases tortured, while the PA turned a blind eye and the university administration proved its deadly incompetence yet again. The student party affiliated with Fateh never missed a chance to publicly diss Hamas and spread its vile propaganda. Hamas withdrew from student elections for two years, in protest at the treatment and continued imprisonment of its party members at the hands of other students.

Israel and her supporters congratulated themselves over glasses filled with Gazan children's blood to what they saw as a win-win situation for them. Hamas "Destroyer of Israel" were effectively isolated and under siege (the other 1.5 million population were viewed as collateral damage) and Fateh "Negotiations Evermore" were their sniveling lapdogs, eagerly pushing for Israeli land takeovers in return for money. The real losers, the average Palestinian, witnessed with anguish as the Palestinian cause and self-determination were essentially shelved somewhere among history's back pages. Calls for unity fell on deaf ears.

Fateh, the instant collaborator of Israel. Hamas, a ruthless regime. One thing they have in common is their despotic self-interests at the cost of the Palestinians, their tyrannical incumbency.

Yesterday the two sides signed reconciliatory papers. Our sarcastic demands for them to kiss and make up were finally heeded. Brokered by a new Egypt, Hamas and Fateh seemingly put an end to five years of malicious discontent and animosity. How well was this news received? The Guardian has the best sub-heading: Celebration in Gaza City is dispersed by police wielding batons, while Ramallah seems more concerned with Champions League.

Ain't that the truth.

People shouldn't be heralding this as a new era for Palestinian unity that would now commonly advocate the Palestinian cause and seek repercussions from Israel for its continued apartheid and occupation polices, etc. Why did Hamas and Fateh sign an agreement yesterday? Why now? What gives?

Fateh's response to the Arab Spring revolutions was to pay lip service to change in the political system for fear of having the serfs revolting. It lost a major ally in Mubarak's Egypt, and found itself being propelled by one less puppet string. Likewise, Hamas is trying to steer away from any ties to the Syrian regime, that funder of annihilative cache of weapons, as Dr Bashar al Assad's penchant for killing protesters did not go by unnoticed.

How in the world can these two ideologies be married into an agreement? How will the PA operate when the international community shuns it thus forgoing any financial aid? What sort of interim government will this joint effort be like? Where does Israel fit in this equation? In fact, a lot of our questions mirror  Ali Abunimeh's, whose perspective on this so-called progressive step forward is a must read.

If there is an agreement on a joint “government” how can it possibly function without Israeli approval? Will Israel allow Hamas ministers be able to operate freely in the occupied West Bank? Will PA officials be able to move freely between the West Bank and Gaza? Israel is effectively at peace with the current Abbas wing of the Palestinian Authority and at war with Hamas. Impossible to see how such a government can operate under Israeli occupation. If anything this proves the impossibility of democracy and normal governance under Israeli military occupation.

Netanyahu made a somber appearance on TV. He said that the PA must chose either peace with Israel, or peace with Hamas. This takes us back to the conceptual meaning of Peace in Israelispeak. We're tempted to shout back, "Bring it on suckers!" but who are we kidding.

The whole point of unity should be "unity of goals for the Palestinian people" and not unity of factions. Factional unity, is it really in our best interests? Considering the agendas and actions of Fateh and Hamas in recent years and how that has affected the Palestinians, it's really a non-question.

Honestly, when we heard the news we were waiting for further explication. "And then what?" Our noses crumpled in disdain because there's gotta be some kind of ulterior motive. Whatever happened to Fayyad's 2011 Palestinian state, one that excludes Gaza?

On the bright side, maybe the hunger strikers can find a new hobby now.

Today on campus we saw a sickening sight. In front of the student council building, celebratory-like, the loudspeakers were out once again, a small mast had Fateh, Hamas, and PFLP flags, and students took turns eulogizing "O unity, thou honorable thing" shit into the microphone. The same students that not too long ago made it their favorite pastime to denounce Hamas and exalt Fateh on every occasion. We kept walking.

RIP Juliano Mer Khamis

Juliano Mer Khamis was killed after unknown assailants fired 5 bullets in his body on April 4th in front of the Freedom Theater in Jenin, which he founded back in 2006. He was in his car, next to his two year old son. [His wife is pregnant with twins.]

His documentary Arna's Children won the Tribeca Film Festival award. An interview published posthumously is found here.

Born to a Jewish mother and a Palestinian father, he proudly described himself as the impossible: one hundred percent Jewish, one hundred percent Palestinian.

Ramallah staged a demonstration for Juliano, pictures here.

Nathalie Handal wrote a beautiful, touching poignant tribute.

To Juliano Mer Khamis

This is to you
who came to us with the thirst of a river
This is to you
who delivered wings, then praise,
then a thousand hands on a stage
This is to you
who deafened conflict
like a wall of whispers
building a different nation
you lined them up—Fatima, Mohammad, Yasir, Sahar
said, departure starts the first place you create
the word has a way
the way a sign
the sign a heart
the heart a place
a place that places parts
into what can’t be disturbed
This is to you
who held a village on a whisper
whispers in a butterfly
your mother in a rose
your father everywhere trees grow
don’t follow the stray souls
don’t follow death
you’ve rehearsed it enough
remember
all the plays that lie in between
here you gathered wounds and made a stage
gathered curtains and made a museum
here you took the distance away from eyes
the hard beating of drums away from ears
and you forced fire to burn elsewhere
This is to you
This is to your son
who will never forget the sound of 5 bullets
or the blood drowning the seat
but who will remember first how you played
This is to you who told us
to ask death questions
This is to you
This is to you
This is to you
who created freedom on a stage

Egyptian Solidarity Rally Worked This Time (sort of)

The last few days of the solid millions of protesting Egyptians got me thinking how Palestinians would react in a similar situation. But the fact of the matter is that we are so segmented from each other, with political party allegiances prioritizing over national ones, that it was hard for me to envisage a true Palestinian people revolution where citizens from all walks of life, young old religious secular rich poor students employees etc, intensely unite against a common adversary (either the PA or the Israeli occupation-take your pick) simply for the reason of wanting a proper representative or their basic freedom, without propagating factional or religious interests.

Expressing solidarity for either Tunisia or Egypt in Ramallah has been met with PA saboteurs, which only allowed a small pro-Mubarak demonstration. PA spokesman Adnan Damiri announced that all protests were illegal and not allowed because "our policy is that we don't intervene in the internal affairs of other countries." However, Saturday was proclaimed to be the International Day in Support of Global Democracy, an event sponsored by a number of civil society organizations and individual artists and that was largely promoted by social networking media. The announcement included "Participation Guidelines" warning that this was a non-violent rally not coordinated by any political party, therefore only Egyptian, Palestinian, and Tunisian flags be brought and not factional signs. I told my friend the minute I see the yellow Fateh flag I would be going home. The rally would be in sync with ones taking place the same day in Jerusalem and Bethlehem at 2 pm. It looked like the PA had given this one the green light to go ahead, perhaps to save face from its undemocratic decision to ban any solidarity protests. Abbas certainly knows how to pick his friends, and is scared shitless lest the Palestinians in the West Bank get afflicted with the revolutionary fever. It's the same in Gaza; any protest unbacked by Hamas immediately got shut down.

I've already spoken about the university's nonchalant reaction toward the unfolding events in Egypt, but today on campus a suspension of classes after noon was declared, and a bus was to collect participants and drop them off at the Manara square in Ramallah. It wasn't clear what time classes would resume, but some of the teachers wanted to take part in the rally. It would be shameful if we didn't put on at least one good demonstration for the heroic Egyptian protesters. I walked past the bus, where students bundled in with rolled up posters. I hoped the turnout would be good, not just from students but from everyone.

The crowd when I arrived at the Manara square was a sizable one, but the chants could only be heard faintly from a smaller inner group of people. After five minutes of standing there, I went to photocopy a book down the road and returned ten minutes later to a bigger crowd, slowly finding their voices. Along with my friend and my sister, I pushed in to get to where the chants were concentrated most, thanking the young man who gave me a tiny flag of Egypt. Abu Ali, an elderly man in a kuffiyeh known for leading chants at demonstrations, was up on someone's shoulders shouting rhymes about despotic Arab leaders, Ramallah hailing Tahrir square, and "Thawra thawra hata nasr! Revolution until we achieve victory!" Suddenly, the ever popular staccato that summed up the Egyptians' protests was given about a dozen rounds: The people deMAND the END of the reGIME! It was simply glorious, everyone in one deafening voice. Then an American flag was burned amidst cheers and whistles of approval, but I thought it was unnecessary and untactful. The USA is the crown of imperialism that backs tyrannical corrupt Arab governments for fear of national independence or pan-Arabism or whatever, but we were protesting in solidarity with Egypt, who in twelve days so far have not burned a single American or Israeli flag.

It looked like everyone was having a good time. The sky was cloudy but had stopped drizzling. Posters with Gamal Abdel-Nasser were held up, Egyptian and Palestinian flags rippled together with one or two Tunisian flags in the distance, and more and more people joined us which added to the buoyant atmosphere. Finally, we were allowed to express our voices, try out the chants the Egyptians made popular, and smile furtively as we chanted them out with other intentions. "The people demand the end of the regime" perhaps wasn't only alluding to Mubarak's...

The students from Birzeit University arrived, and they seemed to be a group on their own. They began moving away from the Manara square into Rukab Street, and many people followed suit. Yet unity was definitely missing here. I heard someone say that the PFLP party was leading the procession with their own chants, while the Fateh party was just behind us, also with their own chants. We were all moving together which made it more cacophonous, not knowing whether to repeat after chants of "Down with Mubarak!" or "Egypt is Palestine, and Palestine is Egypt." Two million people in Cairo shouted together in unison yesterday, whereas a couple of thousand people in Ramallah couldn't remonstrate in consonance. It was fairly disappointing to say the least. I saw a lot of my teachers who I greeted, and remarked to one of them that this was a good turnout. She quietly replied, "This is not a lot of people." The days of more than a few thousand milling around the Manara square were over due to the political crackdown by the PA on anything not pro-sulta, as anything otherwise is conceived as a threat to Abbas's dominion of a few cities sadly riddled with checkpoints and settlements.

We headed back to the Manara, and there were as many as five or six different people intoning all at the same time: national unity, no to division, Ramallah and proud Gaza hail Egypt, the people demand the fall of Erekat, no to negotiations, no to normalization, the people demand the annulment of the Oslo agreement, CIA out of the country, Arab leaders are so shameful, the people demand the end of occupation, etc. Then it sort of fizzled out a bit. Abu Ali was still on the shoulders of a man, but without a loudspeaker no one could hear what he was saying unless he was facing us. Other men were sporadically shouting out slogans but more and more people were just standing there, not knowing again who to repeat after. One guy behind me was discussing the situation is Egypt with his non-Palestinian friend and described Mubarak in delightfully colorful words, my favorite being "He's such a persistent fuck."

My friend decided to go home, and my sister and I found my mother standing outside the railings of the Manara. I sighed and began griping about how people couldn't be united even for this cause when she gave me a look and murmured close to my ear that the plainclothes police were behind us. I stole a look, noting they were weedier and scrawnier than the Egyptian thugs I saw on TV, rolled my eyes and stared back at the crowd from my slightly elevated position, my flag slightly crumpled. All of a sudden I saw a Styrofoam board with "Down with Abbas" written on it in Arabic. I quickly told my sister to snap a picture of it, and sure enough seconds later the board was ripped into pieces and the man holding it up was dragged away. The plainclothes behind me were buzzing, "Keep your eye on him...he's changed his jacket.." One man jumped out of nowhere and began yelling "The people demand the fall of Abbas!" but no one swarmed up on him which obviously meant that he was part of the secret police hoping to instigate others. Some of the crowd, who were onto him, yelled back "The people demand the end of disunity" but the man was joined by two others who were then all hoisted up onto shoulders, still screaming for the end of Abbas. It was such a poor blatant show of instigation, that even the foreign journalists around us were muttering all too knowingly. A couple of scuffles broke out as the plainclothes dragged away a few men, and that was the end of the Egyptian solidarity rally. It seemed inevitable that Abbas's goons would screw this peaceful assemblage over. The same men who had shouted for Abbas' demise were now yelling over and over again "The people. Want. Mahmoud. Abbas!" A few people urged the others to start up one of the popular chants, "Mubarak is a coward, he is America's agent" in an attempt to drown out the insultingly rude men but the mood was broken and the crowd was slowly drifting apart. A yellow Fateh umbrella was unfurled. My mother, sister and I began walking away from the Manara. When I looked back, more Fateh flags had materialized and we could hear the men yelling out pro-Abbas slogans-our rightful president, our role model, etc. They went further though; chants about Al Jazeera being Zionist and not Arab, chants against Hamas, chants for the division of Gaza and the West Bank, and to demonstrate their imbecilic deficient selves, chants against Tehran. In the end, it had to be all about them.

No one could doubt that these Fateh supporters were planted among us for the very glaring purpose of one way or another, turning it into a Fateh celebration. It's completely sickening and frustrating to know that we have reached a stagnant point. Any protest must be infiltrated with dozens of plainclothes police. Anyone daring to speak out against the PA or even have the nerve to publicly advocate national unity is promptly arrested. Those outside the country wrote that the PA has lost any shred of credibility it hung on to as a result of the leaked Palestine Papers, but they were disappointed by the lack of response on behalf of Palestinians who did not take to the streets demanding the dissolution of the PA. The Palestine Papers did not reveal anything we did not know. Saeb Erekat's offer of the biggest Yerushalayim shouldn't have caused an uproar (minor or not) as for years we have seen East Jerusalem disappearing under its Judaized neighborhoods and incessant settlements. Raja Shehadeh wrote of an emerging strong police state in the West Bank which contrasts ironically with the surge of revolutionary change currently taking place in Arab countries. We have a double fight on our hands-overcoming the corrupt PA and instating a new government devoid of Fateh and Hamas representatives (wishful thinking), and resisting against the Israeli occupation, which should have been our only contest.

A couple of days ago, I was embroiled in an online debate with a friend. He had written that none of the Arabs cared about the Palestinians and that we in turn shouldn't care about them. I patiently explained to him that the Arab governments couldn't care less about us because of the nature of their relationships with the USA and Israel who supply them with military aid and business deals, and that they saw us as a tenacious problem, but the average Arab common man were sympathetic to our cause. One thing led to another, and I was spewing out words like "sell-outs", "traitors", "corrupt mercenaries" and he countered back with the childish justifications that the PA learn from their mistakes and were a good force for us all-look at how the number of stolen cars have drastically reduced! I pointed out the failure of negotiations, that ever since 2005 we haven't achieved any small part sovereignty, and that Israel has successfully put up more checkpoints, built more settlements, evicted more Palestinians, expropriated more land-in short, making us more occupied than we ever were. He opened my eyes to the sad truth-one that I refused to believe that likable people could ever be victim to- that there is a large majority who wholeheartedly support the PA and would rise to its defense without thinking. I thought that the only people like that were goons. In today's rally, I saw people who earnestly shouted for the end of the division and for national unity. They didn't give a damn about about any political party/faction or had either become disillusioned with them a long time ago, and wanted the Palestinians to be a unitary population. I fear that we might be a tiny minority. If we weren't, then there would have been protests against the PA. Abbas has been president for six years now, there's only twenty four years left until we could be level with Egypt-more than enough time for a sufficient people's revolution.

Also found over at Mondoweiss.

New Benches

Birzeit University has around 8000 students, and yet there are only about 10 benches scattered throughout campus, which means that the majority of students spend their four years of education sitting on the ground, the steps of buildings, and on pavements. This semester we noticed at least ten more shiny new benches sprouting up here and there. About time, we thought. The university milks us dry and suddenly they start acting more considerate. A closer look at the benches however, show that they are presents from various Palestinian companies, such as Jawwal, Trust Insurance, and Abbasshole's son's company Wataniya.
The benches are all green. That means Hamas is involved somehow. And you'd think that that's sarcasm, but the Fateh supporters honestly do believe that anything associated with the color green is automatically Hamas.

Sometimes we worry about graduating with a drastically low number of brain cells than when we first reluctantly enrolled.

We just had to get away from the Palestine Papers, even if that meant a trivial post. Quick summary-  Erekat describing the Right of Return as a "bargaining chip" ignoring the millions of refugees in inhumane camps in Jordan and Lebanon. Robert Fisk spells out the obvious in this article, and its all been about a power struggle, or total wipe out of one party to be king of vaporous domination. There's been zero reaction from the student council, whether to accuse Al Jazeera of a smear campaign undermining the ruling power of the PA (honk!) or to ostentatiously offer up their blood for the long preserving life of Abbasshole, God save the despot.

The Hamas student party haven't organized anything either. We're relieved, because then they would have just pointed out vociferously and needlessly the PA's collaborative agenda and how they mercilessly were willing to sell out their own people, who they claim to represent yada yada. And then the Fateh party would have jumped in, and after a screaming match of "TRAITOR! AGENT! YAHOODI!" both sides would have taken the good ole route of fisticuffs, resulting in 12 students of the Hamas party being arrested and thrown in PA jail cells indefinitely, and several serious injuries on the Fateh students' part. Instead of working to dispose of the salata, the two rival factions, who everyone is sick to death of, resort to the thing they do best: pointing fingers at each other, while the Palestinians continue to suffer the seemingly irrevocable mistakes of their unrepresentatives.

Israel Destroys Araqib Village for the Ninth Time

El Araqib is situated in the Naqab (Negev) desert, close to Bi'r Sabi' (Beersheba). Last week it was once again razed to the ground, homes tents and all, for the ninth consecutive time. Those who tried to resist were subjected to being shot at with tear gas and rubber coated bullets. Around 5 youths were injured. After every demolition, the village was rebuilt by its inhabitants, but this time the Israeli bulldozers remained on the land to make sure this won't happen, all to satisfy the Jewish attendees who visited the area on Thursday for their Jewish Arbor holiday. They were invited by the Jewish National Fund to plant trees on the confiscated plowed land of El Araqib to plant trees. How humane. Ah, to enjoy the privilege of planting trees over the demolished houses of hundreds of Palestinians. The occupation forces have cleared the debris to ensure that at the very least, rebuilding the village will take longer this time around for the Palestinian inhabitants.  

During the 7th demolition of the village, back in November

Israel refuses to recognize the village, claiming it was built upon government land. The residents of El Araqib have deeds showing that the land was inherited from their grandparents.

We can't imagine the psychological state of the children, forcefully and violently thrown off their land over and over again.

The things we take for advantage in this world.

Conflagration is Not the Way, Apparently

Well. Self-immolation certainly does not have the same desired effect in other countries.

Egypt witnessed a man igniting himself to expostulate the lack of rights he suffers at the hands of the government.

Algeria has as many as four people setting fire to themselves.

Mauritania had one man attempting death by burning as a means of protesting his tribe's mistreatment at the hands of the government. 

Happy New Year!

This week marks the last one of classes before our finals start on Saturday. However, we've been enjoying a couple days off due to the Ministry administered strike on Monday and the Islamic new year (hijra) today. That's 1432 years since the prophet PBUH first made the journey from Mecca to Medina.

And since we're in such a reflective mood, here's what's been sweeping the world this week:

Something small called Wikileaks. Thousands of classified private US documentations have been made public to the entire world, which of course is doing wonders to the US foreign relations. See what they think of world leaders here, and read the brave founder of the website, Julian Assange (great name!) answers to the public's questions. The US have gone on a haters' mission to besmirch Assange's reputation therefore his credibility and/or to see him safely behind bars, and/or...assassinated. The besmirching has already begun-the ridiculous accusations of rape and other sex offences committed by him during his last visit to Sweden in August. The case has highly conspicuous political undertones, and today Assange was refused bail and will remain in custody until December 14th, where he will continue to refuse his extradition to Sweden. One of the six people ready to offer him surety was film maker Ken Loach-who earlier this year boycotted the Melbourne International Film Festival because of its sponsorship from Israel-and was willing to offer 20 thousand pounds in bail. Stay strong, be safe.

The raging wildfire that has consumed Mount Carmel in Haifa was finally put out on Sunday after leaving more than 40 people dead and thousands of evacuees. Israel's poorly unprepared forces were no match as it pleaded to countries all over the world to aid them (since the neighboring countries supposedly loathe them), but they needn't have feared as the imbecilic PA fire-fighters lost their balls and strapped on their boots to help. Because Israel would do the same for us huh. As always, we are astounded by the new levels of depravity that the PA sink to. The best Israel can do as to find who the culprit is is to arrest four teenage boys, boohoo. Anyway, we liked Gilad Atzmon's take on how the JNF's plans to "reclaim" the land back in the 1930's came and bit Israel right on the ass last week.

Several Latin American countries have recognized Palestine's right to exist. Brazil, Argentina, and Uruguay (due next year)-thanks, you're about 60 years too late. Unsurprisingly, Bibi and his cronies are not too happy with those decisions, muttering something about how this will upset the balance of peace negotiations or some crap like that.

Old man Abbas has threatened to dissolve the PA if the settlement freeze doesn't get extended yada yada yada. Empty threats, silly notions, must be all those blue pills he's been munching on. And no this piece of news doesn't warrant a link.

Viva Viva Palestina!

We're a bit late on this not so breaking news anymore-blame miscommunication and faulty internet servers, but here we are.

Finally we can rejoice in hearing about the Viva Palestina “smashing” the blockade and making it through into Gaza. Three cheers for Viva Palestina…hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray! Alrighty then back to the informative details. This convoy of approximately 150 vehicles, 370 people from 30 different countries and $5 million of aid has been recognized to be the biggest convoy ever to break the siege of Gaza. This epic journey took four weeks and five days from its starting point in London and traveled through France, Italy, Greece, Turkey and Syria. What a trip huh? Wait! it’s not over yet. In Syria the convoy was delayed for eighteen days because of ongoing negotiations with the Egyptian authority. Since Viva Palestina wanted nothing to do with the Israel border and didn’t want to hand the convoy’s aid to Israeli authorities they turned to the Egyptian border and the Egyptian authorities to allow their entrance into Gaza. When the final negotiations were reached, Egypt allowed the passage of all the convoys with the exclusion of 17 members including George Galloway from entering Gaza. We can take an educated guess about why that is and say that it might be because they’re “security threats” who oppose this “security” barrier, and do nothing but incite hatred and intolerance. When the sea journey came to an end at the Egyptian port of Al Arish a new journey on land began. The Convoy then drove the 40Km to the Egyptian/Gaza border at Rafah where they entered the Gaza Strip.

The Irene Stopped by Israeli Authorities

On the 26th of this month, a boat carrying Jewish activists set sail from Cyprus to Gaza in the hope of breaking the insufferable siege. Those on board included Ed (or David...no let's stick with Ed since he's the boss now) Miliband's mother, Marion Kozak, 82 year old Holocaust survivor Reuven Moskovitz, and Rami Alhanan, an Israeli whose daughter was killed in a suicide bombing in 1997.

Smuggled weapons must have been deeply smuggled under the boats nail planks or magnetically pulverised into anthrax powder, because according to European Jews for a Just Peace, the organization that launched the boat, the cargo included:

"symbolic aid in the form of children's toys and musical instruments, textbooks, fishing nets for Gaza's fishing communities and prosthetic limbs for orthopedic medical care in Gaza's hospitals."

Israeli naval commandos have peacefully boarded a Jewish aid boat attempting to break a naval blockade on Gaza, the Israel Defense Forces said at 11:30 A.M. Tuesday.

From Haaretz:

"IDF naval forces recently boarded the yacht 'Irene', and it is currently being led to the Ashdod seaport along with its passengers," the military said in statement that branded the boat a "provocation yacht".

IDF chief spokesman Avi Benayahu deplored the fact that "naval forces and fighters are being diverted from our main mission" to "a surreal assignment" of intercepting a boatload of activists.

"Its entire intention was to generate media attention and (stage) a provocation. This matter is especially regrettable as we are talking about a group of Jews and of Israeli citizens, and even someone who has worn an IDF officer's uniform."

Dear oh dear, how dare a bunch of conscientious Jewish folk, some with Israeli citizenship, have the absolute GALL to stage off such a publicity stunt that hurts the democratic sandy-beached Israel? Such PROVOCATION!!!

Didn't you know, Gaza is NOT under siege. Like, duh!

Never Forget

Today marks the 28th anniversary of the massacre of the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps.

No justice, no peace. No accountability, no amity.

Who can ever erase the grotesque images of charred and mutilated corpses of the children and the elderly, the young women and men?

Ariel Sharon, that brain coma is too good for you.

Read Robert Fisk's account right after the aftermath.

This article was written 8 years ago, commemorating the 20th anniversary.

Dr Ang Swee Chai has written her own account here.

And the youtube videos here and here.

Never forgive, never forget.

The Screw-ball Quintet

Hello everyone! Negotiations are here to the rescue! Rest assured that once the 'gruelling' talks are over, there will be peace in the Middle East! Honest to God! There will be blood, sweat and tears. There will be compromises and sacrifices! There won't be any capitulations! No renunciation no submission and best of all, no selling out! The Palestinian side will be treated as equally as the Israeli side! Let the confabulations commence forth!

The Playas in the Game

Peace be upon you! Let me clarify one thing. We can DO this bitch, yes we can! Black man president of the US? Been there, done that. Peace in the Middle East, we're gonna do it. Yeah, my little catchphrase has gotten pretty annoying. Oh, I'm no Muzlem sympathizer, which is a good thing that the Hamas beards are not invited. The old fat man is more reasonable. I say "Oppress your people here'safewmilliondollars" and he obeys! It's more about the security of the state of Israel and laying the smackdown on the terrorists who dare disturb it. I have a good feeling about this. It's one way to boost my sliding approval rates and silencing the nasty

rumours about my faith. I've got a hot body everyone, Hasselhoff got nothing on me!

Hello there old chaps. I'm rather adorable, aren't I? I wanted to wear this lovely Star Trek outfit at my inauguration but my advisers advised against it. Oh well. I know what you're thinking. Yes indeed, these are GENUINE blue eyes! It explains the fact why I am the best looking Arab monarch. And why I can't speak Arabic for the life of me. Teehee! I've got a lovely brown-nosing wife who has made it a habit to stop by on Oprah Winfrey's show, and tons of money! And no authority. I'd rather be posing in my colorful Oriental costumes for pictures and portraits where my subjects can drool over my perfectness yet I am obliged to attend this delightful little vacation at the White House. Shouldn't they be calling it the Black House? Ha-HA I made a funny! Crumpets anyone?

Ehhh. Ze fact zat I am looking everyday more like zis kind of overblown toad iz not good for my hels. Enough with the Egyptian-Bloodsucking dialect, but really, my hels, I mean health, is waning. However, I checked last time and the deal I made with the devil is still intact, I have a solid 100 years left in me. Power to me!!! Let me see..my role in this charade is to continue the strangulation of the people of Gaza, getting rid of the Muslim Brotherhood and effectively Hamas, and to line my bong with more billions of dollars! Ah, but my people love me. They just don't know that yet. I tell them it is all for the greater good. I am greater than them, so I deserve to live my life and run my country the way I see fit. I hope these silly talks don't take long, I have an appointment with the doctor in Switzerland who recommended euthanasia for me. Power to me!!!

Kill Steal Expropriate Occupy Terrorize Apartheid Jewish State Settlements Power Control Checkpoints Wall Siege Shoah Murder Massacre Oppression Demolition Ethnic Cleansing Violence Wiping Out Natives Zionism Imperialism Colonialism Anti-Semitism Security Judiazing Messianic Revelations Crackheads Extremists Hagana IDF Palmach God Given Right Democracy

Must we go through this tiresome façade again? I've got this in the bag dudes. Check out my movie-star-while serving-in-the-army pic!

Shalom! I am fat old man. I make deal with Hosni's devil. I like travel to Europe and the America to trash rich hotels and burn expensive cigars on the blouses of blondes. I am convert to Zionism! I have money, money, and more money. I still President of the PA, even after 2 years of expiry date ha-HA! I pretend I care about nationalist cause. I care about settlers and security of Israelis, first and foremost. I open my arms to hug them. They give me benjamins! Ka-ching! When in Ramallah, I travel with concierge and bling bling vehicles. I give shit not to Palestinians. I am big man! I overdose on Viagra. I like Obama, he give me nice rooms.

Links and News

We've each got one more day of exams (Saturday and Sunday) and then we can kick back, shake up some pina coladas, and snooze under the ozone depleted sky.

End of Semester Wongs.

Wong: adjective, the definition of nothing. Vacuous. Pertaining to actions one would not usually commit.

Examples:> speaking in 3 different accents in one class. Old fashioned London accent (suppose old chap, we are having a vastly entertaining time!). Irish accent (Tis a grand ting to be sure). The third was a mixture of Mexican and Arab.

> Forming Conga lines down the stairs.

> When vending machines commiserate with us by refusing to let go of their babies:

It just wouldn't come down.

World Nursing Day came to BZU on Wednesday in the delightful new Nursing building. Avatars were running amok eagerly offering their services: testing eyesight, color-blindness, diabetes, blood pressure. Wanna know your height and weight? Also part of their services. Plus there was a grand tour of the labs in the building.
In the week building up to the 62nd Nakba Day, campus was filled with little makeshift tents with posters displaying brave words asserting our RIGHT that we WILL ONE day return to our homes! There were banners across the chain-link fence above the track field that listed each city and the villages that were eradicated/fully occupied by God's chosen children. For some reason, Gaza was missing. Which really dampened our mood. Come on, Haifa, Yafa, Akka, and other cities in the West Bank were included, where the hell is Gaza's banner? Oh wait, is it not included in Salam Fayyad's 2011 Palestinian state? Douches. Ramallah had a lot of banners and posters, some declaring when the protest will take place and where, others using language to make sure no one forgets what May 15 means to Palestinians. What we can't for the life of us get is why the protest was scheduled for Monday the 17th, two days after the Nakba Day? There are some things that don't make sense but then can be explained, and then there are other things that don't make sense and seem happy to stay like that.There was one that said: The Right of Return is a Political Red Line That Should Not be Crossed. You hear that, Abbas? Proximity talks schmoximity blabber.

On Monday 17 Noam Chomsky was supposed to be at Birzeit Uni, in the Kamel al-Nasser Building at 12, giving a lecture about "America and the World" and "America at Home", the former about US foreign policies, the latter a discussion about developments in the US. After five hours of waiting and interrogation at the Allenby Bridge border crossing from Jordan, Chomsky and his daughter's passports were stamped with ENTRY DENIED. Democracy Now! has an interview about what happened. Chomsky says that the reason why he was refused to enter the West Bank was purely because he was going to Birzeit Uni, and not other Israeli universities. Seriously, this inferiority complex is grating! In Chomsky's own words:

"They don't like the idea that a Palestinian university can be independent and pursue its own policies the same way any other university in the world does."

He was able to give his lecture from Amman to the university (Room 101, Women's Building) via video conference. Can you believe he is 82 years old! Looking good too...but you didn't hear that from us.

Now we come to more general news. As many of you are aware, the first Arab American Muslim Miss USA 2010 is Lebanese hot stuff Rima Fakih. We don't know why Arab-Americans are thrilled at this piece of news, like so what? Congratulations, Arab MUSLIM women have been accepted at the American face value of misogynistic objectifying! No, we're not going to start a tirade about the abominable sexist beauty pageants etc etc etc, but rather the fact that Rima is the first agent for Hizbollah in the US! You can't make up shit like this. Neocon/Moron commentator Debbie Schlussel has sounded the warning siren:

"Rima Fakih, Miss Michigan USA, who will compete in Sunday Night’s pageant broadcast on NBC, is a Dearbornistan Shi’ite Muslim who is a supporter of Hezbollah and used the pageant name at a forum promoting Islamic subjugation of women."

You really. Cannot. Make. Up. This. Kind. Of. Shit. Moronic Hater went on to say that Rima's 'devout' Muslim family (we doubt that they're practicing Muslims, bikinis are favored over burkas in their case) have, according to 'intelligence sources' at least 3 relatives who are currently top officials in Hizbollah and that 8 of her relatives were terrorists killed by Israel in past Israeli interventions into Lebanon. Our brain cells just terminated themselves. Now we have festering right wingnuts' incredibly racist juices sloshing from our eyes. Quick, a way to counter that!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...MUCH better...extra large pictures of beautiful people automatically regenerate our brain cells again.

Gaza World Cup!

We're far superior than yall who are counting down the days until the World Cup in South Africa (38 days!!) commences because a more important and more high-profile world cup is happening right now! Tis called...the Gaza World Cup. Unfortunately for us, we can't be there in person to witness history, what with all the occupation borders limitations permits and the rest of that jazz, but we have little things like Internet and Television Sets to observe the games keenly.

the WHAT!

Gaza World Cup! Have we said that already?

the WHO!

16 national teams: Palestine, England, Turkey, South Africa, Italy, USA, Russia, Ireland, Egypt, Algeria, Spain, Serbia, Germany, the Netherlands, France, and Jordan.

the WHY!

Palestinians love football. Yes douches, it is football. We don't even know what soccer means. Na3m?

the WHO IN-DEPTH!

We arrive at the cutesy part...these 'professional' players are foreign workers in Gaza representing their respective countries.

the UNEXPECTED!

The raising of the USA flag in Gaza. Intact, and not burning.

the WHERE!

A 5000-seater stadium.

the GOOD SAMARITANS!

The United Nations Development Program.

the SOURCE OF LAUGHTER!

The over-excited Bedouin commentator.

the OPENING GAME!

Palestine vs Italy. Italy won 1-0 credit to a penalty.

This is really amazing. We're avid fans of football, and even though we might occasionally kill each other over a game (Egypt vs Algeria..we have our differences right there) we still take up any opportunity that involves football. We're picturing normal people with normal bodies and normal (or less than) fitness levels, as opposed to the Adonis yummy six pack professional athletes, playing a good game of football. It's so cute! And really great...Palestine for the World Cup!

Bits and Bobs

The largest musakhan dish in the whole wide world was made today, in the village of Arourah in the Ramallah district. That's 3arourah. We are still awaiting pictures, and would have gone to the actual event if not for some inconvenient movie screening. This marks the third time we enter the Guiness Book of World Records, the previous two times for the biggest plate of knafe in Nablus and the longest thobe/traditional dress in Hebron. There was something about having the longest caricature on the Apartheid Wall as another record-breaker but we haven't heard anything. Watch Israel counteract by making the biggest 'heritage food' sample ever. Their falafel and hummus stink!

These dangnabbitty strikes are confuddling the shiznit out of us. This week was supposed to an open strike, yet on Saturday by the trusted (not) student grapevine we heard that no, there will be classes on Monday, then yesterday on the news the ticker presented the news that all public universities will be on strike Monday...Birzeit isn't a public university since the salaries don't come from the rotten PA...but because the decision came from the Higher Education Board, we thought that meant all universities. As a result, we didn't go to our classes today, and instead spent a lovely afternoon eating the heinously overpriced legendary Rukab ice cream.

The 36th Prisoners' Day was commemorated on the 17th in Gaza and the West Bank, where thousands of families turned out to morally support their loved ones in Israeli jails. Events were organized, and the kids had something to enjoy to soften the pain of losing their fathers to the occupation. In Ramallah, a half-assed demonstration, much like the one about the Infiltrator Order, was on show.

The Iceland volcano causing disruption all over Europe has a most beguiling name. Eyjafjallajokull. And we thought Kilimanjaro was hard to pronounce, with all the glottal and nasal sounds..ahem.

Old man Abbas has stated the groundbreaking revelation that Israel does NOT have the right to deport any Palestinian, and that the PA will simply not stand for it! You go Abbas! What has your government done so far about the 200 Palestinians already deported? Dick.

Co-Joined Babies Die

Well this is heart-wrenching. Retal and Ritaj Abu-Asi passed away today. The twins from Gaza were transferred to King Abdullah Aziz Medial City in Riyadh, which the Saudi king specially coordinated. For some reason, we had such high hopes that the twin girls could be successfully operated on. However, it was revealed after medical tests were conducted that the twins shared a liver, digestive and respiratory system, and a heart that could not be operated on, as well as intense bacterial infection. The Health Minister of Saudi Arabia Abdullah Ar-Rabi'a said that the twins had a low survival rate.

Ramblings

Back a few days after Easter break, and we have no desire to do anything whatsoever but to sleep sleep sleep. Damn April. Our workload has increased about a tenfold, second exams are next week, yet they might be postponed because the teachers are striking, yet again, Monday through Wednesday. The week after will be an open strike meaning that our Easter break just got extended from then until the end of the month. Unless the teachers get what they want of course.

The students wouldn't like to be left out so we're pretty sure they'll be striking too. What came first the chicken or the egg?

Students: Striking because of the annual increase in tuition costs

Teachers: Striking because of their low salaries and lack of retirement benefits

Insensible outcome: a) Raising the tuition costs even more so that the teachers will receive higher salaries, or b) Lowering the tuition costs so students can afford to pay, at the expense of the teachers' salaries.

This never ending perpetual cycle should be viewed as a welcome respite to us degenerate fools but we heard SHOCK HORROR that summer classes might be cancelled as a result. Oh heeeyyyyyl no. There goes our (what we deemed to be) flawless plan to graduate in three years, not four. It's not the end of the world, but...but..an extra semester might actually make us feel fond of BZU. We might actually grow to like it. We might revert back to the happy-go-lucky gals we used to be back in the days. And we are determined to graduate with all our bitter cynical virulent and acrimonious state of mind intact. Melting at the sight of chubby babies still makes us mean. Fahmeen?

Moving on...papers were passed out by the student council calling upon all students to take part in protests and rallies in solidarity with about eight thousand Palestinians (300 of them being children) in Israel's jails, who have initiated a hunger strike to inveigh their deplorable squalid living conditions, torture and violations of human rights laws at the hands of the IOF. We're glad this has been brought up, but it goes without saying that the majority won't heed or take part in the protests..that is, if they happen. Prisoners have complained of the humiliation family members suffer when they come to visit, noting that strip searching has become almost routine. Families in Gaza are restricted from seeing their sons, fathers, brothers, uncles, on the grounds of themselves posing a 'security risk'. Our hearts are with all the prisoners, it makes us even more determined to resist the occupation. Boycott all Israeli products, skanks!

Gaza will be plunged into darkness for the next three days, as fuel for the only power plant in the Strip has run out, and all borders remain closed. We wonder how many people can stand to live just 24 hours of a normal day in Gaza today. The whole siege is despicable, yet the castrated international community watches on with explicit silence. The things we take for granted...

In other hopeful news, the first Palestinian Siamese twins were transferred from Gaza to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia where doctors are to perform the separation operation. We hope the two little week old babies make it!

We found out in a semi-entertaining class what the Hindus, whose customs are the most similar in regards to the Arab ones, do on their wedding night. We think it's awesome. Apart from requiring the bride and groom to be virgins, the groom covers his face with a sheet during the hump time. The bride gets all the seeing glory, while the groom has to find his way by grappling around. This prompted a fellow-male, we should add- student next to us to say, "Well, blind sex is the most amazing thing ever. Did you see Gabriella and Carlos {of Desperate Housewives) doing it with their blindfolds on?"