Things We Learned This Semester

This semester has by far been the most stressful one we've encountered so far. There were whole days when our heads literally wouldn't come out of books, mainly when sleeping face first between pages. Thank god for support groups. We've held on to our human nature despite the multitude of work that had rained down upon us with relentless mercy, and we've managed to come up with a tabulation of our keen observations/bequeathed knowledge:

• Indian men in very traditional villages cover their faces during sex on their wedding night. We've mentioned this before, yet it still delights us.
• A certain class had to master these elementary level rules: Raise hand quietly. Wait quietly until you get picked. Speak only after the person before you has finished speaking.
• A class that is made up solely of girls renders learning anything a lost cause.
• Our major is the wrong choice if we wanted to pick out a potential husband, therefore having a minor in a different field is an extra plus.
• There's a mythic pattern in not just every literary work, but in everything to do with words, such as the back of cereal boxes, flyers advertising a new restaurant, etc. Thanks Dr G. D!
• To expose our nerdy side, taking a quiz after every discussion class does wonders for our brains and exam grades.
• The study of speech sounds is the best tongue action fetish anyone will ever come across.
• Listening to our ipods in a boring class only makes the time go doubly slow. Yes we used the word doubly.
• Having two classes consecutively in the same room weakens are butt muscles and the strength of our eyelids.
• Having a professor with only four of his five senses is a tribute to his amazing abilities.
• There's a pseudo Superstar singing competition (American Idol for you Yanks) for those with exceptional vocals, but we have no information about this at all.
• It takes five months to learn 6 chords on a guitar. Have mercy.
• Doing community service and not getting the hours for it makes us as mad as a chili-infused raging bull.
• Holding rallies with nationalistic music blaring out from speakers while people scream empty threats and promises in their mics about the Holy Land does not liberate Falasteen.
• There are some people who lack the imperative brain cells to fully understand the danger and seriousness of opening a synagogue in the compound of Al-Aqsa mosque.
• Running a one party 'democratic' student election is the true staple for following in the footsteps of those Arab regimes.
• The fact that less than half of the student population voted illustrates the incompetence of said elections, and the overwhelming indifference of students to the rival political factions.
• Finding out about extra-curricular activities two years after their termination indicates the great communication skills of the students in charge.
• Taking 18 hours with a seminar-like class makes us feel like proper humans as opposed to frantic working animals only at the end of the semester.
• Having an exceptional teacher who finds time in her extremely busy schedule to organize and implement activities and cultural events has broadened our horizons and kick-started our journey to become people who can play an influential role in the lives of others. Mythical pattern right there!
• Reading a feminist manuscript in a class made up mostly of females makes us feel empowered, much like sitting in the front seat of the taxi does.
• Seeing a myriad of male ass cracks does nothing for our poor forever scarred minds, even if they do come in a variety of textures. Ya shabab, lo sama7to, por favor, sil vous plait, PLEASE for the love of ALLAH wear longer shirts or high-rise jeans. Or just wear a dishdasheh!

There's a brief two week respite before we embark on summer classes. Why we insist on hurting ourselves like this is something we do not like to discuss. Masochists are powerful people.